Live your life

They say write what you know. Weeelll I don’t know much, but I know a whole lot of nothing lol. I’ve worked all sorts of jobs, and lived all over; you could say I was a restless soul. The worst job I had was either working at a movie theater, or customer service. The theater job was just a glorified janitor; definitely made me appreciate janitors, and is now why I thank them if I see them in the bathrooms. I know that may seem weird to some, but such a simple gesture of gratitude does brighten someone’s day. I don’t say thank you as I’m waiting inline or anything like that, like a weirdo. I do my business, wash my hands and as I am walking out, I say thank you. It’s like a drive by thank you lol. The job did have some perks though, got to see movies for free. I remember when The Prisoner of Azkaban came out, I got to see it before all my friends and family…Balla shot calla! Haha so baller to see Harry Potter first, but hey, I freaking love HP! Anyways, I’ve worked a variety of customer service gigs; I guess I have a double personality that’s super bubbly, who would have known? But that industry gets you down man. You really get to see a side of people that can just be frustrating as hell or down right mean. I don’t handle stupid people well and I got to see a variety of stupid. So I was glad when I started my journey into teaching swim lessons to kids.

I had just moved back to Phoenix from a year stint in St. Maarten. I moved in with my 2 friends and was working as a pet care technician and at a yoga studio as a front desk greeter. Where I lived was pretty much desert around the apartment, duh its freakin Phoenix man; but literally next to the apartments, was a HUGE canal and these trails that went over and around said canal. I used these routes to get to my yoga job. Well on my way home from the yoga studio, I would always see a swim school. I started to become curious and would ask myself the question, “do I want kids?” I was 22 at the time, so it wasn’t like I was in a hurry to have kids. I had a few people in my life that had kids young and that life didn’t seem enjoyable to me. I was a very selfish person, and I think that’s ok to a certain point. You don’t always have to do or be everything for people. But anywho, I started to ask myself this question and I always said no, even as a kid. I hated baby dolls and didn’t really like playing a “mom” or any of that jazz. So I really contemplated that question for a few days, then came to the conclusion, I don’t really have much experience with kids. So how can I make a definitive answer; with that I went and applied at that swim school. Of course I got the job, I can count on one hand how many jobs I’ve been denied; I slay interviews! Not trying to brag or anything, but I am pretty badass. The swim school really liked me and I was hired the next day. I even got my girlfriend, whom I was living with, to apply and she got the job as well.

I am so glad I walked into that place. One, because I met my husband, Chris, and two, I got my answer: I like kids but love to give them back, lol. I remember when I first saw Chris; it was a photo of him on the bulletin board in the staff room. He was dressed up as a cowboy for the swim school’s Halloween shindig they did for the kids. I thought he was the cutest/ sexiest man; right then and there I had my eyes set on my prey. I met him out in the lobby at the front desk looking over schedules. I, of course, played it cool; introduced myself and said, “ You’re the cowboy?” He then had this weird look on his face and I realized that wasn’t smooth at all. So I quickly had to clarify, didn’t want to spook the guy right off the bat! He then laughed and relaxed, and was ok after that. Thank god I defused that quickly!

I ended up with a female trainer. She was really nice and we hit it off, we’re still friends today. But I found out from her, that Chris trained people too, and I got his schedule. So once my shift was over, I called my other jobs and switched some shifts around. I went back to the swim school and told them my “new” availability. They were more than obliging, and the next day I had a new trainer, Chris. He was going to be my trainer for the next week, until I was ready for my own classes to teach. I had so much fun with him. He was goofy and sweet; he made my days so much better. I knew I was going to make Chris mine. Well, after a few weeks of working there and into my own classes, Chris was having a party and invited me. I thought to myself once he asked,” Fuckin finally man!” So I went to his party and had a great time with him. I have a rule that I don’t sleep with men on the first few dates, and I tell them. That way there’s no expectations, they know what they’re dealing with. Plus if they got upset about that, then goodbye dude. Not worth my time being with a jackass. I’ve been through those types of relationships, as a lot of women have, and I was done with those.  Anyways, we had our first kiss that night.

Almost 9 years later we’re still together. I tell people I stalked his ass, which I sorta did. Hey, it paid off; don’t judge me! I feel so lucky to have him in my life. I sometimes wonder why he’s with me. Why would Chris want to be with me? I’ve got nothing to offer, I can’t work, I’m in pain most of the time, so life isn’t how it use to be. But I realized that a job doesn’t make me who I am. Chris fell in love with me not because I had a job or that I was fit; I know they helped his attraction to me in a sense because lets be real, what single woman who’s unemployed, with an atrophied body is attractive? NONE. It hit me as I was lying in bed though, trying to relax as best as I could, but my damn body and brain had other plans. I hate those fucking nights! Every part of you aches and the searing, shooting pain is incessant. I digress, sorry; I came to the realization that Chris actually cares for me, not only as his wife but also as his best friend, and as a freakin human. If he didn’t, he would have left a long time ago. I don’t know who hasn’t been or had someone who didn’t give a shit about anyone but themselves in their life, but they suck. They peace out at the first sign of any difficulty. They are so self absorbed they can’t or won’t face challenges head on. So they leave right when you need them. Fortunately I married a man who is the complete opposite and faces adversity head on. He accepts life has its ups and downs, and crazy curve balls. I will never be able to truly express how much I love him, and how grateful I am for all he’s sacrificed and done for us.  

It’s crazy looking back at your life and remembering moments but with a different perspective now. My dad gave me the best advice that I still live by today, follow your heart. I know by living this way I’ve experienced some heartache but I’ve also experienced great joy, and adventures.  I’ve lived an amazing life so far and accomplished so much. I am proud of who I’ve become and still growing into. I’ve lived in quite a few states and one Caribbean island; I wanted to experience life to the fullest. After graduating high school, I didn’t go down the conventional path, and I am so grateful I didn’t. If I had waited, or done the whole college thing, today I wouldn’t be able to do those things I did back then. My point is, don’t put those wishes and desires on the backburner. Don’t say “I’ll do it next time,” or “I’ll do it when it’s not so expensive.” Make the time to experience life, if you don’t, it will pass you by. Before you know it, the opportunity for “next time” has passed and you can no longer do the things you once wished to do; don’t set yourself up for regret. I love the saying, “Don’t live your life with regrets.” So get out there, make the time, do what you need to do to follow your dreams! Please don’t let life pass you by, because life will keep on moving, even if you don’t want it to.